The myth of the “ perfect breasts “ could be the most damaging stereotype to the female psyche to this day, because it means the rejection of the feminine in her most beautiful, natural, unique, and quintessential form.

Social objectification of the female body, particularly of the breasts, is bound to stigmatize any woman who doesn’t reflect the stereotype. This represents the great majority of women, since realistically only a rare few will conform to the ideal model.

The high incidence of female diseases and disorders such as breasts cancer , PMS, dysmenorrhea (menstrual cramps) , eating disorders , debilitating menopause, infertility and other female reproductive system disorders is indicative of the rejection of the feminine.

Healing the belief system which promotes inauthentic self image and values is necessary in order to reclaim the authentic feminine essence in body mind and spirit. It is the key to reclaiming our female health, wholeness and wisdom.

For the past twenty years I have been blessed with listening to women share their most intimate self, often revealing their deepest secrets. Giving a voice to the feelings that have too often been kept inside since childhood has proven to be very healing for many.

What keeps transpiring within the safety and sanctity of the women’s circles is the collective inheritance of women’s low self- image and self–worth, and the tremendous need for healing the split between body and spirit, love and sex, the masculine and the feminine within and without. When women are asked to share how they feel about their breasts they often express a very critical attitude. Many of them, unless they have had a breast implant, simply did not like their breasts.

Given the exploitive nature of our society it is no wonder that women find it difficult to accept their breasts as beautiful, and the rest of their body and their essence as perfect. Women are bombarded from a young age by mass marketing of low self esteem, escapism, and the notion that the only way she can prove her self worth is by complying to men’s approval. As a result, women have needed to shield their bodies, often at a considerable cost to their physical and mental well being.

A study done with young women between the ages of 18 to 22 illustrates that it is more important for them to look good than to feel good.

  • Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer or of losing their parents.
  • 7 out of 10 women, after viewing images of fashions models, felt more depressed and angry than prior to viewing the images.

The desire to look good and adorn one’s body is universal and healthy. However when looking good has become more meaningful that feeling good, we must really question the health of our culture.

Changing our beliefs, changing our identity.

The female body has always been the object of male fascination and desire. There is undeniable archeological evidence that thousands of years ago, back in Goddess worshipping cultures, awe and mystery surrounded the female body. Not understanding how procreation worked, especially the role of the male, our ancient ancestors revered the female body, and imagined it a magical vessel.

In today’s simultaneously sex obsessed and sexually repressed culture we have lost the reverence for the female body. Barbie dolls, Playboy bunnies, and online porn babes who can pop up anytime on your computer screen have replaced the once revered mythological goddess figurine which symbolized female sexual power and fertility.

The yogic tradition offers an interesting map into the workings of the chakra system. Chakras mean wheels in sanscrit. When our vital energy is moving freely the wheels are spinning. Learning the mental and emotional issues related to each chakra help us to better understand the intricate connection between body and mind:

The fourth chakra for example is symbolic of self-love and our ability to feel “unconditional love.”

The bodily areas associated with the fourth chakra are the heart, breasts, lungs, ribs, upper back, and shoulders. According to Christiane Northrup Md, author of Women’s Bodies, “Emotional and psychological issues associated with ill health in the fourth chakra are an inability to give or receive love from self or others (nurturance), lack of forgiveness, grief, unresolved anger, hostility, criticism, and being judgmental.” (1)

– “Changing our beliefs may be the most difficult thing we need to do in life…because changing our beliefs is changing our identity,” says Gregg Braden in his audio-book -Spontaneous Healing of Beliefs –

I experienced a personal look at breast cancer after my mother had a mastectomy many years ago. I felt sad and powerless at the sight of her mutilated body. I asked myself how this could have possibly been prevented. My mother lacked the ability to either give or receive nurturing. As a result of her life threatening disease she has made important changes in her life, and as a fortunate result, the cancer is in complete remission.

When looking at the correlation between breast cancer and the emotions emanating from the corresponding chakra, it is as though with mastectomy we are literally cutting the female breast away and with it its ability to give and receive love. Healing the life-negating core belief that is at the center of our modern feminine identity, and replacing it with life affirming beliefs, is essential in the reclamation of the authentic feminine essence in body, mind and spirit.

Happy Breasts, Healthy Hormones

Breast Massage, the priceless feminine treasure right at your fingertips.

Breast Massage is a key to self- nurturing, overall health and female orgasms.

In Chinese Sexology also called Sexual Qi Gong, breast massage is considered one of the many wonderful feminine treasures for health, longevity and heightened pleasure. Qi Gong believes that energy stagnation in our body causes imbalances and diseases. It uses breath and movement to direct the flow of energy (chi) throughout the body promoting health and well being.

Pay attention to the breasts. Kissing and caressing the breasts are important foreplay activities because the breasts are associated with three meridians: the pericardium, which is the tissue surrounding the heart; the liver which is the channel that runs directly through the genitals; and the stomach which runs about an inch and a half to the left and right of the genitals. When the breasts of either gender are stimulated , all three channels are stimulated. (3)

For North Americans in general, viewing breasts in a nonsexual way is not easy. The fact remains that breast tissue is like any other tissue- it needs to be touched and oxygenated. Some Qi Gong teachers are suggesting that wearing metal rims around the breasts such as the ones found in most bras on the market can interfere with the flow of energy (chi ) in the body with the risk of creating energy stagnation in the breasts. Massaging the breasts on a daily basis helps to reinforce the feelings of life force present in the breasts.

Here is the one of the priceless feminine treasures I have shared with my women’s circles for many years. Those who committed to a daily practice have enjoyed numerous benefits.

A 45 year old woman’s testimonial

“A daily practice of the Deer Exercise, has regulated my hormones to the extent that it has reduced my hot flashes to 10 percent of what I had been experiencing, in just 3 months. This has really improved my quality of life and I am deeply grateful for that!”

A healthy diet and regular exercise combined with the practice increase the benefits:

The Deer Exercise for women including the Breast Massage

The Deer exercise is an ancient health practice from the Taoist tradition known as a secret of longevity and rejuvenation. It is a workout of the sexual glands which helps to regulate all of the other glands in the body.

The Main Benefits:

  • Contributes to hormonal balance, regulates menstruation, decreases or eliminates PMS and menstrual problems.
    Serves as a natural anti-depressant
  • Helps develop greater sensitivity to pleasure
  • Exercises, tightens and energizes the vagina which heightens its sensitivity to pleasure and its orgasmic potential.
  • Helps prevent lumps in the breasts and breast cancer.
  • Increases estrogen production. The fact that estrogen is produced naturally is very important because the body knows exactly the appropriate amount of other substances needed to balance its increase of estrogen. A surge of estrogen can greatly relieve symptoms of menopause and rejuvenate a woman.
  • Prevents and eliminates hemorrhoids, menstrual irregularities, vaginitis and infertility.
  • Directs sexual energy to the breasts which nurtures the inner child.

“The Deer Exercise is designed to naturally and safely stimulate secretion of the hormones essentials for personal and sexual well-being. As a result you may find that you menstruate less heavily or even that your menstrual cycle ceases. According to Dr. Stephen Chang, (author of the Tao of Sexology) this is a benefit, as vital nutrients and energy that would otherwise be lost in the menstrual blood are reinvested. If your menstruation stops or decreases and you want it to continue as before, simply discontinue the exercise. In fact, missing even one day can be enough to return to a menstrual condition”. (2)


The Deer Exercise is performed in two steps. After about one month of practice, the muscle contractions will be easy to maintain, then you can combine both steps together. As you keep practicing the Deer Exercise, feel the fire or energy generated in your sexual glands rising upwards along the spine into the breasts and the head. Connect your mind with what your body is doing. A daily practice is recommended in order to build momentum and start seeing its wonderful benefits.

First Step

1. Sit naked or topless on a flat surface, pressing the heel of one foot with a firm pressure against the opening of the vagina and the clitoris; if it’s not comfortable to place your foot in this position, then place a fairly hard, round object, such as a tennis ball, against the opening of the vagina and clitoris. Placing an extra cushion under your buttocks can also help you to reach these points with your heel.

2. Rub your hands together vigorously to warm them up. Feel the heat of your body that is being directed into the palms of your hands.

Place a hand on each breast (same side) so that you feel the heat from your hands enter the skin of your breasts.

Imagine a fountain coming from the earth moving upwards in between and around your breasts. Rub your breasts slowly and fully in outward, circular motions. around but not touching the nipples Your right hand will turn counter-clockwise, your left clockwise. Circle 36 times in that direction. Love your breasts as they are.

Change direction and circle 36 times. This time, draw light golden energy from the cosmos moving down between and around your breasts. The touch in this direction is lighter, more ethereal. Massaging the breasts activates the the ovaries which then stimulates all the other glands in the body.

Second Step

This part can be done sitting, standing or lying down. You may remain in the same position as in Part One.

Tighten the muscles of the vagina and the anus as if you were trying to close both openings. Contract the same muscles as if you were trying to stop the flow of urine. Contract deeper as if you were trying to hold back a bowel movement, further contracting the anal muscles. Hold these muscles tight for as long as you comfortably can. Keep breathing into your abdomen and relax all other muscles.

Stop and fully relax the anal and vaginal muscles between the contractions. Repeat the anal and vaginal contractions as many times as you wish. When your muscles get stronger, coordinate the anal and vaginal contractions with your inhalation, while releasing them on your exhalation.

Enjoy Breast Massage as it is a very practical way for women to Awaken the Goddess Within* 4. since it is all about self nurturing and connecting body, mind and spirit. As you massage your breasts keep relaxing into your worthiness. Remember that you are as goddess as it gets!

Sexual Educator and international Sacred Sex Teacher Maryse Cote has helped thousands of individuals and couples over the past 20 years with enhancing awareness on the union of Sexuality and Spirituality, Love and Sex, Intimacy & Relationships. Through her school Ishtara Seminars she offers certification training in Tantra & Sexual Healing.

1. Northrup, Christiane, M.D. , Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Creating physical and emotional health and healing, Bantam Book, 1994, p.88

2. Ramsdale, David and Ellen, Sexual Energy, Ecstasy, Peak Skill, 1991, p. 107

3. Cote, Maryse, Awakening the Goddess within, Discovering the Sacred Erotic, Women’s training Manual, 2008, 10 pages.

Dunas, Felice, Ph.D., with Goldberg,Philip, Passion Play, Ancient Secrets for a Lifetime of Health and Happiness Through Sensational Sex, Riverhead Books, 1997, p.79