Category: For Men

Sacred Sexual Secrets for Men

Top Two Natural Ways to Control Ejaculation and to Optimize the Health Benefits of Sex

Superior Sex Practices can be a tool for preventing illness while serving as an anti-aging tonic.

1. Withholding ejaculation to release endorphins- the “feel good” hormones

Endorphins are opiate like brain chemicals that diminish pain and generate feelings of well being. When ejaculation occurs before these endorphins have had a chance to be transmuted throughout the whole entire body a man will rip deprive himself off from its of their wonderful pleasure and health benefits. When that happens a man usually feels tired and depleted after ejaculating. coming. In some extreme cases he may even feel depressed for hours, or even for days afterwards. at a time. This condition is known as post coital syndrome.

The time that it takes before the sexual hormones get transformed while flooding the body with their rejuvenating properties may vary. Health and fitness level, age, lifestyle, and whether ejaculation happens occurs through masturbation or sexual intercourse will play a definite part for in the way that this alchemy to will take place. As a start beginning to assist in withholding delaying ejaculation, practice deep abdominal breathing, preferably thorough the nose. Deep abdominal breathing will help release unnecessary tensions which causing cause energy stagnation, while also helping to relax into the build up of arousal. Get Aroused Arouse- Stop – Relax – Breathe Deep -Squeeze ( the whole pelvic floor) – Release and Start Begin again.

2. Massaging the prostate to increase potency and produce more powerful orgasms

Prostate diseases are epidemic. The majority of men will develop an enlarged prostate (BPH/ Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy) within their lifetime. Sometime leading to cancer. Prostate cancer is the second leading cancer on in males. Prostate disorders may lead to impotence, reduced ability to gain and hold erections, weak ejaculations and poor sexual performances. performance.
The prostate which is responsible for ejaculation. Premature ejaculation usually indicates a weakness of the prostate. Could Can this be avoided?

Ancient Chinese medicine practitioners would recommend direct stimulation of the prostate on a regular basis in order to keep the prostate healthy. It was recommended not only to improve the health of the prostate but also to increase potency and to produce more powerful orgasms. Specifically designed Prostate Self Massagers Tools are now available on the market to help facilitate your practice. Whether you do the massage on yourself or you enjoy receiving this massage from a professional erotic massage practitioner or a dedicated skillful lover, make sure you take your time, breathe deeply, relax, and use lots of lubricant!

Sexual Educator and international Sacred Sex Teacher Maryse Cote has helped thousands of individuals and couples over the past 20 years to enhance with enhancing awareness on of the union of Sexuality and Spirituality, of Love and Sex and Intimacy and Relationships. Through her school, Ishtara Seminars, she offers certification training in Tantra & Sexual Healing.


3 Top Natural Keys to Prostate Health to increase Potency and produce more Powerful Orgasms

Most heterosexual men’s only association with their prostate is through an invasive clinical prostate exam. They have no idea that the prostate is also known as the “male G spot.”
Whether for the purpose of heath or pleasure or both you owe it to yourself to make friends with your prostate and prevent prostate problems.

1. Massaging the prostate

Ancient Chinese medicine would recommend direct stimulation of the prostate through self massage on a regular basis in order to keep the organ healthy. It was recommended not only to improve the health of the prostate but also to increase potency and to produce more powerful orgasms. Specially designed Prostate Self Massagers Tools are now available on the market to help facilitate this practice. Whether you do the massage on yourself or whether you enjoy receiving it from a professional erotic massage practitioner or a dedicated skillful lover make sure that you take your time, breathe deeply, relax, and use lots of lubricant!

2. Withholding ejaculation

The prostate is responsible for ejaculation. When a man ejaculates too often or too quickly he depletes himself of his vital energy. Learning to delay ejaculation will help release beneficial sexual hormones throughout the body while optimizing health and vitality. in Ancient Chinese Medicine a man’s semen was considered “ gold liquid” because it is filled with rich minerals, vitamins and proteins. It takes some time for the body to synthesize a tablespoon of sperm which is about the equivalent of one ejaculation. Learning to withhold ejaculation is a powerful way to keep a healthy prostate, increase potency and help produce more satisfying orgasms.

3. Feed your prostate the right food nutrients

Dietary and lifestyles factors will greatly contribute to keep a healthy prostate. In a research conducted at the University of Vienna some years back with a group of men from four different countries of eastern Europe it was showed how old folk medicine worked miracles for the prevention of prostate diseases. After testing these men’s prostate the researchers could hardly find anyone showing prostate problems. The “secret of virility” that these men shared belong to the old folk pharmacopeia. It consists of eating a hand full of pumpkin seeds a day! Well as they say, the proof is in the pudding!

Pumpkin seed is high in zinc which one of the two major components of a healthy prostate.

High fatty acids are also very important for prostate function. Fish oil and flax seed oil are high sources of high fatty acids. Two tablespoon of raw flax seed oil a day is recommended. Find a brand that you like, use in as salad dressing or to replace butter on toast. Make sure you keep it refrigerated.

The 3 Golden Keys to Male Multiple Orgasm

Did you know that ejaculation and orgasm are not one and the same?

Men are often envious at the tremendous female capacity for multiple orgasms, and they usually don’t know that they too can develop their potential for multiple orgasms! Learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm, like any other skill, requires focused attention, practice and patience. It takes time to change old, hard-wired patterns related to arousal. Choose a time when you feel well rested for your masturbation practice. You must attempt to keep relaxing while building up arousal. ??Here is how you can get started: ?

1. Practice Breath Awareness and keep your mind connected with what your body is doing

Deep abdominal breathing will help bring more awareness, aliveness and strength to your sexual organs. Practising breath awareness on a daily basis will best prepare your body to relax into arousal . Deep abdominal breathing through the nose will relax the body, quiet the mind and release stress.

2. Learn to Recognize the “point of no-return” and stop before it’s too late

The point of no return is the point of ejaculation inevitability. That is, when ejaculation is on its way and there are no more ways to control it. Avoid this point until you learn to master yourself. With regular practice of conscious masturbation in which you keep watching for the onset of this particular feeling-so- good-sensation, you will be able to recognize it and immediately stop and relax. There are different techniques which can be used at this point, but essentially, breathing and relaxing will help postpone the point of no return.

3. Activate the PC, the Sacral and the Cranial pumps to loosen up, energize and arouse your body

The The PC pump is activated by the contraction/release repetitions of the PC muscle (the same muscle that stops the flow of urine), while the sacral pump is activated by contraction-release repetitions of the anus muscles. The cranial pump is activated by the natural pelvic movement. When the breath and the 3 pumps are fully activated the orgasmic loop opens up, allowing sexual energy to move freely, triggering the full body orgasm.???Sexual Educator and international Sacred Sex Teacher Maryse Cote has helped thousands of individuals and couples over the past 20 years by enhancing awareness of the union of Sexuality and Spirituality, of Love and Sex and Intimacy and Relationships. Through her school, Ishtara Seminars, she offers certification training in Tantra & Sexual Healing.

Tantra, Men, and Sexual Healing

Some years ago I wrote an article on women and sexual healing which was published in the Kali issue of Tantra: The Magazine. While the article examined women’s feeling of being disenfranchised and sexually unfulfilled, men also responded very warmly to the findings. That is why I felt moved to write about men with a sense of personal responsibility in furthering our common healing. At the same time, I hope to cultivate an awareness of mutuality between genders.

My purpose here is to explore the many ways how men have also been wounded- such as the lack of sexual initiation, circumcision or social factors- and to suggest some initial steps men can take to begin healing.

I have worked privately with over a thousand men as an instructor of basic Tantric and Taoist practices and as a sexual healer over the last ten years. I have loved many men in my life, including six younger brothers. However, I must admit that it is with a limited confidence that I approach the subject of male sexual woundings because I am not in a man’s body. I can’t access the same cellular memory as when I talk about women. Nevertheless, I have seen, felt and heard men’s woundings and the unnecessary suffering that results from having a penis.

Attempting to understand how a man experiences himself as a sexual being requires that we take a closer look at how we’ve all been wounded. We’ve all been victims of a socialization and discrimination process which defines our sexual identities and roles. We are seen only as either a “man” or a “woman. Eventually I came to understand how gender roles hurt everyone. Before being seen as a human being with very individual characteristics and choices, we are being labeled by our genitals as a male or a female and treated accordingly within our culture.

What It Means To Be A Man?

To be a “man” in most cultures requires the “person with a penis” to be a performer and provider. Men are are trained and conditioned for these roles from an early age. The core of this macho training is a denial of the full range of emotions and body feelings. As Robert Bly says: “Contemporary business-life allows competitive relationships only, in which the major emotions are anxiety, tension, loneliness, rivalry and fear. Having no soul union with other men can be the most damaging wound of all. Much personal power is given away in the process of denying one’s true feelings.” (1)

Competition, success, ownership and external rewards become the foundation of Superman pseudo power.

Since emotions are categorized as “something for girls” young boys learn very early that:

A: it’s not okay to feel like girls

B: there must be something wrong with being a girl

C: to be a man must mean he has to be strong, to be in control, to not show feelings and to see himself as superior to women; misogyny becomes identity.

This conditioning insidiously crystallizes the male role of performer, hero, macho, provider, achiever and doer. That’s how we transform a human being into a human “doing”. From that place of isolation from his true self, he becomes an easy prey to a system that only values external rewards such as success and ownership. Competition becomes the rule and the way to relate to other men. The degree of his denial of emotions and bodily feelings may lead him to extreme abuse of power, greed, destruction and violence. Wars and the destruction of our natural environment are just examples of such denial.

While Men Strive For Power, Sexual Powerlessness Results

An interesting study of Warren Farrel, Ph.D. further points out that “men are socialized to want sex as long as one condition is fulfilled: physical attraction. Women are still taught to be sexually cautious until two, three or all four conditions-attraction, respect, emotions, and intellect- are met. Many women add a fifth and a sixth condition:- singleness and status/success. Many add a seventh, eight and ninth: the man must ask her out; he must pay; and he must risk rejection by initiating the first kiss, being the first to hold hands, and so on. Men feel as if their expectations are so much lower than women’s-there is only one condition-and they can’t even meet that. And so men feel sexually powerless.” (2)

While men are focusing on physical attraction and external rewards, internal rewards, such as communication, intimacy, love and commitment, remain unsatisfied. Lack of sexual fulfillment results in powerlessness for both men and women. Rarely do we think of men as sexually powerless mainly because we associate the male phallus as the symbol of sexual power. I see this powerlessness manifested in many ways. In my work I constantly encounter men having premature ejaculations, difficulties with erections, lack of sexual feelings, and lack of skills and confidence in their sexual expression.

”During sex, a phenomenon that Western psychologists call premature ejaculation happens to 75% of men, preventing them from experiencing a deep union. What this usually means is that the man has not allowed his partner to develop her energy into an orgasm. As a result, in normal sexual relations the percentage of women experiencing frustration and no orgasm may be as high as 80%.” (3)

Can you imagine when this situation persists? The results are performance anxiety, lack of self confidence, feelings of embarrassment, frustration and shame, lack of sexual fulfillment and deep suffering.

I am a firm believer in ejaculation control as a solution to World Peace, starting at home, by creating more sexual fulfillment. My personal contribution to this are two beautiful audio tapes: A step-by-step Sexercise Training which teaches Total Ejaculation Control and how to prepare the body for male multiple orgasm and A Guided Erotic Journey/The perfect companion to the Sexercise Training in which ”Ishtara” reveals more of her sexual secrets and takes the listener “into the world of sacred pleasure and endless ecstasy”.

Male Are Wounded By The Absence Of Sexual Initiation

The absence of a rite of initiation into malehood with proper sexual training also contributes to male sexual wounding. Men are not trained to know how to love women. A man’s first experience of female love is with his mother. This relationship will determine a man’s capability to love and trust a woman. Most men have been severely wounded from deeply unfulfilled mothers who projected their own needs, dreams and expectations onto their sons. The son often became a substitute for an absent father and lover.

A man’s fear of women’s control affects how willing he is to surrender to women’s sexual power. His unconscious fear of women’s inexhaustible sexual power confronts him with his vulnerability, especially if he fails to meet his own expectations as a sexual performer. His desire for control is challenged by a temperamental male phallus which can let him down at any given moment without notice. We call it “cuming” while it should be called “going.” Because, unless a man learns to transmute his energy before he ejaculates, once he “cums” he is gone. His energy and his interest in his partner are gone. The man who repeatedly experiences this lack of control over his sexual energy will often end up feeling powerless.

The Abuse of Circumcision Is The First Sexual Wounding

Such experiences of powerlessness may tap into a man’s earliest experience of having his genitals mutilated by circumcision:
“No one is aware of the deep implications and life-long effect of circumcision. All that takes place in the first days of life on the emotional level and shapes the pattern of all future reactions. How could a being aggressed in this way, while totally helpless, develop into a relaxed, trusting person?” (4)

”Could the trauma from this event have anything to do with our later feelings of shame about our bodies, our concern about the size of our penises, our anguish over sexual performance, our frozen feelings, or the male ability (liability?) to ignore pain? In order to begin healing our wounds we need to remember what happened to us and name it correctly. Cutting the genitals of newborn male babies is child sexual abuse. I encourage all men to join in ending this practice.” (5)

The more I read on the subject the more upset I become. (For additional information on circumcision, see bibliography at the end). (6)

Social Factors Further Objectifies The Wounded Man

A more recent factor which, unfortunately, has also contributed to men’s woundings is feminism with its oftentimes vehement objectification of men. In the spirit of retaliation there isn’t much room for discernment. Sensitive men took a hard blow, right under the belt, in their power center. While the male power structure was actually the object of attack, many receptive men’s personal power was blasted. On top of not having adequate male role models, now simply being a man was a cause of shame, blame and discrimination!

Finally, I am suggesting a last, yet certainly not the least, important factor of sexual woundings. It is the fear around sexuality which men have also inherited at a cellular level from patriarchal religions. Indeed patriarchal religions throughout the ages executed people for being sexually alive. The human body and its erotic power became a source of evil. What if, instead, it would have been considered a source of divine embodiment?

The New Age Man Attempts To Compensate For These Wounds

Perhaps the phenomena of the New Age man is a natural response to these woundings. I think it’s a rather creative one. These men have opened themselves to their intuitive and receptive side. They know how to be gentle and sensitive which is exactly what women wanted from men. The problem is that through this process, men have often lost the more bold, active and penetrating qualities required for personal power. In that way they’ve compromised their maleness. And of course it’s bound to affect their sexual power.

Whether or not modern man is in touch with his emotional pain, his body can’t lie. The most striking way that sexual wounding is affecting men is through prostate disease. In this country, over 50% of men experience prostate difficulties beyond the age 50 while prostate cancer is one of the leading cause of male death. The medical establishment treats the symptoms of prostate problems while ignoring their causes. Aside from the physical causes, shouldn’t we pay closer attention to the most obvious cause which is the surrounding environment: the quality of the air, water and food? Where you aware that the chemical substances present in the environment become particularly concentrated in the sexual organs?

At another level, the significance of the disease of the male sexual organ reflects the difficulty to convert this tremendous testosterone power used for wars and destruction of the planet into a creative, peaceful and sacred source of energy. It is time to collectively give birth to the peaceful warrior. We celebrate the wise man who can meet the wise woman in true power and equality, mutually supporting our freedom of Being divinely human.

Gaining Awareness Of The “Core wound”: Separateness From Being

I feel moved here to share part of my latest personal investigation in relation to healing. All my life, whether I could name it or not, there has been this deep undercurrent of isolation and distress at the core of my Being. I have devoted a great deal of time and energy trying to heal my core issues of abandonment, self-love and love of others. I finally came to feel that the primary focus of my investigation of Being was redirected to the “Core wound” of separateness from my essential nature,-and that the “Core wound” is at the root of all other psycho-physical wounds, limits and issues, and it is present in all beings. As a result an important shift in my process has occurred where I am experiencing a beginning and deepening of Freedom at the Heart of my Being. Since all this is fairly new I feel a certain level of vulnerability in sharing it here, and it’s as much as I can say for now. As this process keeps unfolding, I certainly will have more to say.

How Can Men Begin To Reclaim Their Sexual Power?

First of all, by getting out of denial to recognize that they’ve been wounded. By moving through the pain of these wounds, one can find the key to the true erotic self. This connection to the erotic self is our connection to the life force. It is sacred in itself and should not be exclusively limited to the pleasure of the senses. The highest Tantric exploration is where sex is not used as an escape, no matter how blissful it is, but as a means to know who We are. As long as we identify with the realm of the phenomenal we’re bound to be disillusioned. Once the key to know oneself is found, the whole body becomes the human receptacle, the holy grail, for erotic energy to move more freely and to be transformed into love, healing and creative expressions.

Secondly, men need to develop a whole new relationship with their penis. Most men are dissociated from their phallus. that’s why for many men, their relationship to their car, for instance, is so significant. It is the modern stereotype of sexual power and identity. Dissociation also occurs when men masturbate in a very mechanical way, like a sex machine, with high speed, force and intensity. This creates rigidity which over time becomes armoring in the body. The natural sensitivity for the more subtle sensations and feelings is lost. They’ve also lost the intimate connection with themselves and the richness of the whole erotic body. Their experience is a very limited one strictly localized in the genital area. For most men, orgasm equals ejaculation and love making becomes a performance and a race to orgasm. Moreover sex easily becomes a routine to release stress. The compulsive need for outside sources of stimulation, such as pornography and the use of fantasies as necessary conditions to get turned on, indicate the level of dissociation from the sexual organs.

Vulnerability is the essential condition to reclaim sexual power. I have found that this is probably the most difficult quality for men to express, particularly in intimate relationships. Although a man might be a great adept of sexual and spiritual disciplines, he may precisely have used these practices as a way of reinforcing his more refined egoistic sense of power and the denial of his emotional body.

Healing Through The Work Of A Sacred Initiatress

A long time ago, men were initiated in the arts of love by women who were trained as sacred courtesans. I know I have been one of them. It is from this deep recognition that I felt called, in 1989, to begin to offer my sacred sexual healing work.

My work as a Sacred Initiatress has mainly consisted in instructing men and women in how to circulate their sexual energy throughout their whole body for the purposes of health, rejuvenation and sexual ecstasy. The techniques I have used are mainly based in ancient tantric and taoist systems although adapted to our modern needs.

By using the breath and specific muscles which I called “the pleasure muscles” a man can learn to delay his ejaculation and prolong his love making for extended periods of time, strengthen his erection, experience orgasm without ejaculating and learn to prevent prostate problems. You can only imagine what these benefits can do to a man’s self-confidence as a lover not to mention his partner’s sexual satisfaction.

I believe that this information should be available to everyone. I knew that my work as a Sacred Initiatress will sometime come to an end and I feel responsible for passing on the precious information that I have received.

I felt committed to making the essential instructions of my training available in an easy, concise and totally enjoyable way. That is how I created a personal guide and companion named Ishtara. With her sensuous voice she will keep encouraging the listener on his special intimate journey.

My joy keeps growing as more people come to discover the great value of these teaching tools. It is my personal contribution to men and the women who love them, on their sacred sexual journey. I’d like to complete this article by honoring the divine male in all of us with my poem.


1. Robert Bly, Iron John, 1990

2. Dr. Warren Farrel, Why Men Are the Way They Are, 1986.

3. Jwala, Sacred Sex, 1993.

4. Dr. Frederic Leboyer, Birth Without Violence, 1975.

5. Jed Diamond, The Silent Knife: Why isn’t Circumcision a men’s Issue? The warrior’s journey Home, 1994.

6. National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC), P.O. Box 2512 San Anselmo, CA 94979-2512 USA

Listen Peaceful Warrior

Come here and relax
Let the eternal feminine hold you tenderly

Come and penetrate softly
The fountains of silence
And rest in the depth
Of her golden cavern.

The return to innocence,
To the eternal womb of creation.
Let her hold you tenderly
While you be still and receive
The nectar of her inexhaustible passion

There is nothing to do
And nowhere to go
you’ve come here
To taste the ecstasy
That is your birthright.

Copyright 1995 Ishtara, Revised edition ,1999

Our Birthright to Ecstasy

“My breath is getting deeper, my body is letting go and I feel totally emerged in this loving energy uniting my partner and I. Time and space disappear and we are transported in this extraordinary ecstasy. I surrender to the intoxication of the senses and I hear myself saying…” It is absolutely divine!”.

The sexual experience leading to ecstasy reveals that orgasm in essence is a spiritual experience. Most of us, if only for an instant, have experienced ecstasy, whether this experience was one of a sexual nature or not.

Is it not this experience of wholeness and profound unity that we are all searching for through sexual union? The desire to recreate at will this type of experience is universally human. Yet is it possible to achieve? And how about the risk of giving myself away or”losing myself” into romantic pursuits?

Such questions have led the way to a deep spiritual journey for me. It took me to India and to Tantra. My training of ecstasy and intimacy and the conscious journey of transformation of my passion began 20 years ago at a non traditional tantric ashram.

While there I soon became disillusioned with seeking into sex what only Being can give. The tantric path took me into the fire of purification of all that needs to be dissolved: false identities, dreams and illusions.

It is about meeting One Self and at once a deep and total acceptance of life.

Tantra teaches the reconciliation of body and mind, of sexuality and spirituality and the reconciliation of all aspects of oneself. Contrary to the reputation it knows in the West, Tantra is not about sexual techniques aiming at miraculously liberating its practitioners. The tantric master Osho reminds us: ” Sex is only the beginning not the end, but if you miss the beginning you will also miss the end.”

Miranda Shaw, in her penetrating investigation “Passionate Enlightenment-Women in Tantric Buddhism” sheds light on outdated and fallacious notions of Tantra: “Monastic Buddhism had fostered an increasing emphasis upon philosophical dialectics, an elitist enterprise that is best pursued in a monastery and whose practitioners display a tendancy to devalue other aspects of life, overemphasizing the role of intellect in gaining enlightenment and losing sight of the capacities and potentials inherent in the body, the senses and the emotions. Tantra emerged as a corrective to this imbalance and as a witness to the fact that the mind does not provide sole access to knowledge. Passion and pleasure also represent primary sources of knowledge and power.”

Sacred Sexuality is the natural integration of sexuality and spirituality. Unfortunately this natural integration has been broken by the processes of acculturation and socialization. Most of us grow up hearing negative messages about our body and our sexuality. No wonder we often feel confused and fragmented sexually. For all of us this rupture has created not only a sexual but also a psychic wounding.

Orgasm is one of the most profound human experiences. It can serve as a powerful agent of reconciliation between the body and the spirit. The problem with our modern culture is that “we don’t have time” to stop. We have become obcessed with work and filled with stress. Sex like fast food is ingested quickly and mechanically and is also deprived of high quality nutrients.

The experience of ecstasy requires a letting go, a surrender, but for most of us this natural incline to letting go into pleasure has been suppressed from early childhood. Very early we learn to hold back our emotions. We deny our instincts. Later on we continue holding back our deep sounds of pleasure and our passion.

Pleasure through touch can be cultivated. Yet one must know how to stop and take time. To take the time to taste, to touch, to listen, to watch, to feel and to perceive through our senses. The time and space to love.

First we must know that this orgasmic power is possible then we can make the choice to open ourselves to it.

Despite all the information available today on sexuality and the last half century of studies measuring orgasm and the orgasmic potential, we are still very limited when it comes to our fullest pleasure potential.

The choice to open to one’s full orgasmic potential calls for an investigation of the negative thinking which sabotages our pleasure. Our capacity to accept pleasure depends on our self-image. The difficulty to accept our body by telling ourselves that ”my breasts are too small or are not firm enough, that my penis is too small or my ass is too big!” will make it so that we hold ourselves back preventing ourselves from receiving fulfilling sexual pleasure and ecstasy.

The task of freeing pleasure from its enslavement to the mind and its burden of negative identifications requires vigilance. Meditation plays an important role in the practice of vigilance. We come to realize that “We are not who we think we are”. The surrendering to pleasure becomes easier.

The five levels of women’s orgasm and male multiple orgasm

The first level relates to the woman who has never experienced orgasm or who doesn’t know for sure. The second level relates to the one and only experience of orgasm. The woman at this level may experience a great deal of frustration by attempting in vain to repeat an experience based on what she has known. The third level consists of experiencing orgasms in a precise and predictable way each time yet it is limited to one. The forth level refers to multiple orgasms.

The fifth level goes even further.

This continuous orgasmic state is a process in which one is carried away and which can carry on for hours at a time. As far as men are concerned the first level of orgasm is associated with ejaculation and is localized in the genitals. This level is rather mechanical and the man doesn’t have much control over its duration or its intensity. It is characterized by a build-up of tensions followed by a release which will be somewhat depleting of energy. It will often bring the sexual experience to an end. Otherwise, the man will repeat a similar cycle with repeated ejaculations.

The next level generally requires an appropriate training unless a man has discovered through his own experiment to separate ejaculation and orgasm. Body and breath awareness will help greatly here in knowing how to relax while building up arousal. Gradually the build-up of arousal once localized in the genitals can be spread through the whole body allowing for a full body orgasm to take place. The next step is multiple orgasms.

Taking responsibility for one’s pleasure I have often noticed within the women’s Sacred Sexuality groups in the last decade that women still leave the exclusive responsibility of their sexual satisfaction to their partner.

Body shame and unworthiness in regard to receiving pleasure will often stop a woman from expressing her intimate needs and desires. Communicating about sex takes courage, commitment and caring and it is fundamental in order to establish an intimate climate of trust inviting mutual discovery. This intimate communication skill will make it possible to go through the resistances in the way. The blockages which limit our capacity to fully enjoy sexual pleasure. Training one’s partner to know how to satisfy us sexually is a concrete way of taking responsibility for one’s pleasure. Cultivating the art of love can be done just as cultivating any other art form. It comes with patience, time, and practice.

Sacred Sexuality is the cultivation of the art of love. It offers an ongoing training for intimacy and the reconciliation of sex and spirit. Ecstasy is our birthright, it’s up to all of us and each of us to reclaim it!